Well I've been gone a long time...  4 months.  I've thought of my xanga, I've thought of the friends I made on my xanga; I just attempted to focus on other things in my life.  In these last few months I've teeter-tottered between a low (for me) 123 to 128.  This am I was 127.  I've been eating 'normal'.  I have felt like a pig and I can't say I like my body any more now than I did at any other weight.  If anything I'm hating the flab more than anything now.  The loose skin is horrendous.  My mood is so up and down I drive myself nuts.  I haven't exercised a lot lately, I plan to start again today and hopefully eat somewhat sensibly today. 
I don't have the discipline I used to, I don't know if that has anything to do with my husband being around more; or just laziness.  I haven't set real goals for myself in a long time and I know that is a huge part of my problem.  Too much going on and not enough time I suppose, same old deal.  Excuses, I suppose.
I still imagine myself being what someone would call 'thin' someday, I laugh to myself when someone now call's me that; laugh thinking 'right, if they could see what hides under my clothes; they'd take that back.' I know I'm not thin and I know thats what bothers me.

I'm updating myself and my xanga right now...I'll be around.

129...Yay for that.  Its helping my husband is a bit of an extreme dieter now...very obsessed with losing weight now too...its a little strange but calming at the same time bec. he helps me thru my struggles as well.  He wants to rid his body fat and be a lean mean muscle machine...he's already in tip top shape but he wants more.  Fine with me!! 

Anyhoo...as for me I am doing well today and seem to be a little more re-focused than before.  I'm thinking of joining a challenge, anyone else know of one for the new year???  Let me know pls...  Hugs & stay strong ladies...